How has your week been? It’s been a busy one for me in my business but the highlight of my week – a trip to the hairdresser!!! Who knew such things could be so important. Reflecting on the things we’ve missed during lockdown has opened up a whole new window on what is important to us and I’ve realised how easy it is for us to focus on the wrong things. Fortunately, when someone shows us a better place to turn our gaze we can see things in a whole new light.

One of the things I often see with coaching clients is that they know exactly what they don’t want. They don’t want to be too busy, they don’t want to be overwhelmed, they don’t want to be trapped or jobless. We don’t want to be weak or indecisive, taken advantage of, disrespected, not regarded…

In our personal lives maybe we don’t want to be lazy or fat, disorganised or untidy, we don’t want to be tired or short-tempered. What else is on your list?

The thing is, where you focus is where your energy goes. When you focus on what you don’t want, that’s what you tend to see – again and again and again.

Many of my coaching clients tell me they don’t want to fake it… in their lives and in their professional roles they don’t want to feel as if they are making it up as they go along, always on the back foot, insecure, a fraud.

camera lens focussing on the distanceSo what if we changed the focus to include what we do want. Our authentic self longs to be seen and yet sometimes we are afraid. Maybe we haven’t yet dared to look beyond that fear to clarify what lies there hidden, unexamined.

In my “Cultivating Confident Leadership” programme this discussion often seems to take many of my clients by surprise.

Our best self has been hiding for so long we’ve forgotten what they even look like – if we ever knew.

So let me ask, what does your best self want?

If you imagine yourself, functioning, appearing in the world as you wish to be seen, what would that look like?

At a basic level how would you stand, what energy would you project, how would you feel?

When people interacted with you how would they feel? What impression would you leave?

Maybe you would want to appear calm or confident, maybe professional. A safe pair of hands or trusted business partner. An empathetic listener or an enthusiastic supporter, an organised colleague or a professional leader.

Each of us leaves a mark on those we meet. Few of us really think about the impact we have and how we might create it, consciously, honestly, ethically.

So how do you want to show up, your authentic self, the best version of you?

Why not spend some time reflecting on this, take it to your journaling, spend some time in your head and your heart, getting to know that version of you…

And do let me know, what does your best self want for you? I’d love to know.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!