How’s your week been? Some of my friends have been through the mill, metaphorically speaking, so a little extra loving has been needed. My sister spilled a cup of tea and scalded her hand too so my very best first-aid skills were in action – fortunately all is healing nicely. I hope things have been less “eventful” for you.
Personally I’ve also been very busy creating a new online programme: Outsmart your Imposter – Finally feel good enough. That’s certainly kept me busy!
Today I want to circle back to something I mentioned in my last newsletter. I talked about the action that was needed to make a wish become real, to literally create hope that change would happen.
You might remember the three steps outlined by Rick Snyder – I know what I want, I know how to get there and I believe I can do it.
That last bit – I believe I can do it – is so important to the whole thing.
It also comes in two parts:
- I believe I can take the necessary actions and
- I believe those actions will create the result I seek.
It sounds so simple but like many things, it depends…
I’ve seen people during the last 16 months search for new jobs or new business opportunities. Fortunately many have been successful. Some still struggle.
I notice that some struggle with taking the actions, or at least with taking action consistently. Others have been sending out the applications and failing to get the job. The lesson I fear they are learning is “even if I take the right action, it won’t make any difference”.
Searching for jobs in the midst of a pandemic, a part of me knows it’s a numbers game. But the bit about believing your actions will make a difference – that is important.
I can think of a few times I’ve struggled with this over the years. When trying to lose weight and knowing that being on an identical diet and exercise regime as a friend – they lose pounds and I lost nothing. I took the action but it didn’t make a difference.
I guess whenever you vote for the party that doesn’t win the election it might feel the same. You can take the action but it didn’t make a difference…
Except maybe it did. Seeing the evidence that you are a person who takes the right action, it changes or reinforces the beliefs that you have about yourself – and that does make a difference.
Each time I take the right action I support the belief that I am a person who can make a choice and follow through. When actions don’t create the result I expect I might need to consider what other actions or choices were available but I still support the belief that I have the agency to do it.
When people struggle to create positive change in their life it’s often because they struggle with one of these elements – can I do it and will it make a difference?
I often see it in my training programmes – occasionally people can’t/don’t know how to do something but more often they don’t do something because they don’t believe it will work. That is the saddest sort of self-sabotage as, having delivered training to hundreds of people, I know the solutions will work.
So, if you’re getting stuck or experiencing self-sabotage, which bit isn’t working for you?
- I know what I want
- I know how to get there
- I can take the actions needed
- I believe those actions will create my result
So what do you think? Is this a helpful way of looking for blocks?
I’d really love to hear your thoughts. Maybe, where have you been stuck and what helped?
Send me quick a reply!
Margaret
PS: Do you know a woman who is working in a role where expertise and getting it right matters – and she’s struggling with self-belief, doubting that she’s good enough… my new programme “Outsmart your Imposter – Finally feel good enough” is designed to help someone just like that. I help them understand how this happened and what they can do to create positive change.
Please do have a look yourself. I’d be delighted to receive feedback and honoured if you’d share it with friends.